The Gentle and the Harsh

II.      Vows of Rejection

“We renounce violence of the heart, tongue and fist, neither willing nor working harm to any”

8. I will reject violence of the tongue: I will not speak or write any curse, insult, abuse, slander, deception, falsehood, or gossip

(by Meredith Farmer via Flicker)

My grandmother used to chide (gently) her quarreling grandchildren, “A gentle answer turns away anger.” I loved my grandmother and thought her wise, but I always found it an annoying thing to be told in the heat of a good bicker. As inopportune as it sometimes was, I eventually took the verse to heart. When bullies at school picked on me (I was, after all, a flamingly self-righteous little know-it-all), I tried practicing Proverbs 15:1. But the encounters frequently ended in my stirred up anger…or tears…or both (and the antagonists got what they wanted--a reaction out of me)! By junior high I deemed “the soft answer” only useful for respectable and proper grandmothers. The young life required an eye for an eye, or rather, insult for insult. 

The Hospitable

I.        Vows of Affirmation

“We devote our daily life to God, and to serving our neighbors as images of God”

madlyinlovewithlife via Flickr

4. I will live, speak and act with courtesy, respect, and honesty toward friend and enemy, neighbor and stranger.

There is a growing set of true stories sharing surprising outcomes to encounters with a violent enemy. One goes like this: A couple is asleep in their bed-and-breakfast home. As a man with a knife crawled in the open window, the wife awakens to see him approaching through the dark. As he nears she speaks out, “You can kill us, but first let me make you a cup of coffee.” The startled intruder gradually accepts the offer and over a hot cup decides against his original violent plans.