From one little mouth

II.      Vows of Rejection

“We renounce violence of the heart, tongue and fist, neither willing nor working harm to any”

8. I will reject violence of the tongue: I will not speak or write any curse, insult, abuse, slander, deception, falsehood, or gossip

(by Helga Weber via Flickr)

The tongue is certainly a difficult thing to manage well. We humans are curious. We like to tell ourselves that we have things under control. How quickly and easily we say something in an effort to be humorous or to put someone in their place, and then eventually wish we could inhale those same words back in because of embarrassment or regret. The notion of “control” evaporates, and we realize that our words have caused injury that can’t be ignored.

In the Bible, James knew this quite well... “From the same mouth come blessing and cursing” (James 3:10). The things we say with our mouths reveal the kind of person we are. Cruel or nasty words can come quite easily. Kind words spoken in patience are not always on the tips of our tongues. But the habits of “good speech” can be formed. It might mean responding more slowly or even remaining quiet when a flippant response would be easy. So James writes in 3:13 urging us to “show by your good life that your works are done with gentleness born of wisdom.” Speaking good words that come from this gentleness is a skill that for most of us takes time to develop into a virtue that we do well. It does take a little bit of patience and wisdom to learn deeper patience and wisdom.

The Gentle and the Harsh

II.      Vows of Rejection

“We renounce violence of the heart, tongue and fist, neither willing nor working harm to any”

8. I will reject violence of the tongue: I will not speak or write any curse, insult, abuse, slander, deception, falsehood, or gossip

(by Meredith Farmer via Flicker)

My grandmother used to chide (gently) her quarreling grandchildren, “A gentle answer turns away anger.” I loved my grandmother and thought her wise, but I always found it an annoying thing to be told in the heat of a good bicker. As inopportune as it sometimes was, I eventually took the verse to heart. When bullies at school picked on me (I was, after all, a flamingly self-righteous little know-it-all), I tried practicing Proverbs 15:1. But the encounters frequently ended in my stirred up anger…or tears…or both (and the antagonists got what they wanted--a reaction out of me)! By junior high I deemed “the soft answer” only useful for respectable and proper grandmothers. The young life required an eye for an eye, or rather, insult for insult. 

Pure in Heart

II.      Vows of Rejection

“We renounce violence of the heart, tongue and fist, neither willing nor working harm to any”

(by h.koppdelaney via Flickr)

7. I will reject violence of the heart: I will not harbor anger, resentment, envy, prejudice, or hatred. 

When we recognize the violence in our world, it’s often noticed in the form of physical and verbal violence. Yet some of the greatest violence exists within those of us who have never struck another creature or hardly raised our voices. Jesus, as he is fond of doing, flips the conventional picture on its head. You’ve heard it said, “Do not murder,” but I tell you don’t be angry or insult one another! In the gospels, Jesus digs beneath the actions and words of anger to the condition of the person inside. “Out of the abundance of the heart…”

The Hospitable

I.        Vows of Affirmation

“We devote our daily life to God, and to serving our neighbors as images of God”

madlyinlovewithlife via Flickr

4. I will live, speak and act with courtesy, respect, and honesty toward friend and enemy, neighbor and stranger.

There is a growing set of true stories sharing surprising outcomes to encounters with a violent enemy. One goes like this: A couple is asleep in their bed-and-breakfast home. As a man with a knife crawled in the open window, the wife awakens to see him approaching through the dark. As he nears she speaks out, “You can kill us, but first let me make you a cup of coffee.” The startled intruder gradually accepts the offer and over a hot cup decides against his original violent plans.