That Pitter-Patter

II.      Vows of Rejection

“We renounce violence of the heart, tongue and fist, neither willing nor working harm to any”

7. I will reject violence of the heart: I will not harbor anger, resentment, envy, prejudice, or hatred.

("heartbeat" by Alesa Dam via Flickr )

Rarely can I forget the times the pitter-patter intensified.  Instantaneously in those moments the regularity of my heart rate is gone.  Everything has been ratcheted up.  I seethe.

Had I know that a backyard baseball game would get me this worked up; I probably would have gone swimming.  Had I know that my life would cross paths so frequently with that of a friend, and at each juncture, he would laud his accomplishments above mine; I probably would have chosen a different career track.

All too often I make room to harbor anger.  I allow for comparisons.  I make space for this to continue day upon day.  Elbowed out of the way are the things I have to offer.
 

 As the pattern goes I find every possible way to diminish my abilities: it always ends in self-pity.

And what to do when I wish something bad would happen to someone else?  What kind of person am I if I think that this will somehow make me feel better?

“Again he entered the synagogue, and a man was there who had a withered hand.  They watched him to see whether he would cure him on the sabbath, so that they might accuse him.  And he said to the man who had the withered hand, ‘Come forward.’  Then he said to them, ‘Is it lawful to do good or to do harm on the Sabbath, to save life or to kill?  But they were silent.  He looked around at them with anger; he was grieved at their hardness of heart and said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’  He stretched it out, and his hand was restored.” (Mark 3:1-5)

When I am best able to practice rejecting violence of the heart it is the times I honestly name my failings.  When I am best able to practice rejecting violence of the heart it is when I acknowledge that Jesus too became angry.

However he did not choose to flee from his emotions.  He channeled them.

As recorded in Mark 3, Jesus grew angry because of the callousness around him.  He did not sulk nor did he allow space for it.

Instead he healed a disabled man.  He focused his anger to bring about change.  He restored a withered hand to its former usefulness.

When the pitter-patter has gone, replaced by fuel, I will reject the tendency to flee.  And thus I will reject the possibility to harbor anger.

Instead I will notice the God-given opportunities for change.

 - Jason Gerlach, Conference Youth Minister

Virginia Mennonite Conference (MCUSA)

For Reflection and Action:

Read again Mark 3:1-5.

• How is your heart withered? What bits of anger, resentment, prejudice or envy have you harbored in your heart?
• What healing do you need?
• What God-given opportunities for change do you notice today?

Prayer Focus

Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.

Pure in heart.

Blessed.

Will see God.

Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.

May it be so in me.